Some people are spoiled and have mommy issues. Some didn't get that brand new car when they turned 16 or a trip to Europe when they graduated college. So they whine about their mommy. Me, I hate my mom because she is an idiot. She is a burden, an inconvenience. She has been incapable of having an original thought and following through on anything for her entire life.She brought 2 children into this world with no goddamn idea how to love or raise them. Pure selfish reasons. She wanted kids for the sake of having kids. She had no business in bearing children. The woman couldn't properly manage a 10$ bill and here she was popping out 2 kids. My dad couldn't take her and i dont blame him. It drove him to drink more than usual and shack up with his secretary. So not only was she a moron, she was now alone.
Normally if there were someone in my life like this i would tell them to go fuck themselves and kick them from my life. But in this instance i was born to the moron. The blind, clueless,stubborn asshole. Sure she made certain there was food and shelter and that goes not forgotten. But as a parent, a guide, a teacher she failed MISERABLY. Letting 2 children with obvious mental disorders go un-diagnosed. Trying to sweep under the rug any issues and ignoring the obvious no matter how hard it hit her in the face. Now if you wanna be an idiot and fuck your life up that is fine. More power to you. But when you bring a child into this world you have to man up and step out of your comfort zone. You need to listen, empathize and prepare them for the world ahead. Im not saying you have to shelter them and cradle them their whole lives. But this fucking woman just threw us to the wolves before the age of 10 with no goddamn clue.
Any questions, concerns, obstacles that came across my sister and i were swept under the rug. We were told to get over it. When my sister had serious pains in her woman areas my mom didnt believe her. when a doctor told my mom that my sister ( who was 14 at the time ) had bi-polar disorder my mom refused to accept the diagnosis because it proved her wrong. She took my sister from the office and neglected to get her help. My sister then had a very very difficult and painful road because no one listened to her or helped her.
When my baby sister got a little too friendly with my body parts when i was 8 rather than press charges or beat the holy hell out of the girl my mom did NOTHING! Didnt even get me counseling. She squandered away all her money because she believe that the lottery would solve all her problems. all through life even as we got older and would decline certain things from her because we understood that money was tight and told her to hold on to it, she went ahead and wasted it.
And now as an adult she still shoots down any dreams or aspirations my sister and i have. She villifies us to other relatives because she doesnt want them to know of her epic failure as a mother. i dont give a fuck as im now an adult and can figure shit out on my own. I climbed from a substantially giant emotional and financial abyss because of this person. My sister escaped to Virginia and is doing better than she ever has in her entire life. Im not using my mothers shit parenting as any excuse for my shortcomings. i and only i have control over me. She just did a shit job in shaping me as a kid and we had to pay for her stupid mistakes. Sometimes now i still pay. Her gambling problem is so bad she began stealing what little money i had to feed her habit. I still dont use that as an excuse. It just makes her that much more pathetic to me and makes me that much more emotionally involved in my son's life. I listen, i connect. I dont use my mental defect as an excuse, but rather a strength to work harder and rid my life of this awful person known as my mom.
Basically, i put this together so if every now and then i say something awful about my mom people will have a better understanding as to why. And my discontent toward her will just fuel me to get out of her life and stay out of it so i can truly be happy. I know my faults, i welcome advice. took her 58 yrs to admit she had a problem and now its her crutch and the whole world sucks up to her for it. me and my sister dont need anything but the love of our respective children. amy and i may be nuts and fuck-ups but goddammit we're good parents! And we owe it all to our truly pathetic mother.
