Cold Blooded

According to today's Boston Herald, a 4-foot long female alligator was captured yesterday along the banks of the Charles River, on the Dedham-Needham line west of Boston. There have been 22 alligators found wandering New England since the beginning of the year, and it is believed that the creatures were imported into the Northeast illegally and abandoned by their owners.

I know that there are folks who like exotic pets, but I'm still trying to fathom the ferret craze. ("Would you like to come up to my place and see my weasel?") Keeping a personal alligator is beyond the pale. Do people like gators because they're easier to keep than crocodiles? Does one feed them Purina Alligator Chow? Are they good with children?

In Florida, where the alligator is a general nuisance, the latest trend in animal companions is the Burmese python. These massive snakes often escape, or are dumped, into the Everglades, where they wreak havoc with the ecosystem. They also occasionally visit suburban neighborhoods and swallow cats.

When there are millions of fellow mammals in animal shelters awaiting adoption, why does anyone choose instead to smuggle a latter-day dinosaur from Boca Raton? Enough already with the reptiles! Just get a damned dog. If they were good enough pets for Neanderthals, they're good enough for you.